its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My boob is missing a layer of skin
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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