no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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