And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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