the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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