do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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