that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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