well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
In America we eat man semen.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
