She just used a chaser for red wine.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
