you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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