how can u be prego again
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
