If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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