I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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