there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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