Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize