if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
