I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize