There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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