Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
