we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
