BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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