Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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