I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
