I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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