I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize