He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
