If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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