Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
