Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize