Can i not drive my cunt home
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
