3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
