good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My pussy is not your playground.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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