You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
