I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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