Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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