so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
