she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
