I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
