It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
