well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
