Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
