For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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