drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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