We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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