no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
