wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
