Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
