JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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