Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
