haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
two words...techno handjob
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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