I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize