I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
