she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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