You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
