I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
