get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
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If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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