I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
