i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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