dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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