you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
