The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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