worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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